When my marriage split, almost six years ago, I was severely broken hearted for a long time. Not however for the separation from my spouse, but more for the loss of my life as I knew it, and most importantly no longer living with my little children.
Things are much better now, as life has moved forward, however it took at least a couple of years to start even thinking straight again.
The worst times were in the initial stages living alone, feeling guilty for making the decision to leave my prior life and often wondering whether or not I did the right thing.
Although I had no regrets for leaving my wife, the pain of separation from my children was unbearable at times, and even though I knew it was not the right thing to do, it would have been easier to stay with someone in an unhappy marriage, than go through the stress and pain of separation.
If this ever happens to you – in the interests of sharing my experiences here are some ways I learned to cope and get on with life.
My tips to help mend that Broken Heart
Meet new people
Its very important not to spend too much time alone, after a split, think of it as your chance to become more socialable, immerse yourself into clubs, activities and find ways of meeting new people. Sometimes you need to stick your head out a bit, but all this is a very important part of the healing process.
Throw yourself into your career
Often this can also be a great opportunity to focus on retraining, or on furthering your career. By concentrating on your career, this is something positive that will benefit you long term, and keep your mind off whats been happening in your personal life.
Learn new skills
Never has there been a better opportunity to learn new skills, try out those hobbies you always thought about but never had the time for. Go back to school, or study a course in something that interests you.
I cannot over emphasize enough the importance of exercise. Not only does it get you out of the house, you can use exercise to meet new people, and of course it makes you feel a lot better in a natural and healthy manner.
Plan ahead, book in a trip to look forward to with friends, or to visit relatives. Its very important to have things to look forward to, the more the better!
Remember this, time truly is the healer of all wounds, so even though you may be feeling like the world is caving in, just take it one day at a time, know that the way you are feeling is perfectly normal, and even understandable. You will get through it!