Bitterness is a two edged sword that can literally control your life. That is something I have realised over the last few years and I really hope that now I am finally leaving all that behind me and pushing forward with my life.
I was living in a false sense of reality where my own sense of what was right, was clouded by the actions and attitudes of others.
Although the actions of others can affect your life, everyone is ultimately responsible for what they do ( or don’t do ).
I was blaming others and feeling resentment for things I was helping out with of my own free will – that in itself is not a very giving attitude is it.
It is not up to me to judge others, and its not up to others to judge me. ( although they can if they want to – that’s up to them ).
In order to get rid of the anger that I felt inside I had to come to terms with the fact that it was actually my problem and not anyone elses. Once that finally dawned upon me it was like waking up from a foggy dream and seeing the light again.
For those in the same predicament I propose the following three point plan. Use it or don’t – your call.
Firstly you have to stop blaming everyone else, no matter how reasonable you can make it sound to yourself. You were put on this earth a free person – every choice and action you have taken in your life has lead you to where you stand today. No one forced your hand – everything is choice. ( You might think that you didn’t force your partner to leave you or be mean to you or whatever – that is partly true however you did choose to rely or depend on that person, so in the end it was your choice to give them the power to let you down. )
Deal with it
By retaining anger and rage towards a person we give them power – let go of it and be free. Sounds simple and doing the step before will help with this step. No one can hurt you if take responsibility for your own actions, release your bitterness and anger and take control of your situation.
This is the hardest part, unfortunately and particularly if you have kids you may have to keep communicating and dealing with the very people that you held bitterness towards however.. think about this.
- They are not the problem – you are
- Of course they don’t see things the same way as you do and you will never make them
- Who cares? In the grand scheme of life do you really want to waste your valuable time and effort on someone that makes you angry or bitter? Do yourself a favour and remove all emotion from any communications. If they want to carry on being bitter that’s their problem – you have moved to another level and they are stuck in that foggy, nasty world of self pity and bitterness.
I feel like a soldier that has been fighting in the trenches, giving his all everyday for a battle that didn’t even need to be fought.
Hopefully now this trooper can take a break and chill out for a while!