Paying Parent Should Be Allowed Access – New Child Support Formula Case 12

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This is our twelfth case study.

This is Ange’s Story:

Ange – Please tell us about your situation?

My partner has a daughter who lives we think in Tauranga.

She was 3 when their marriage ended. It was a very unhealthy relationship.

When he left she became really difficult. He moved away.

She stopped him from having any kind of contact. He fought and fought through lawyers and court.

30k later there was an access order in place. She would cancel plans the day before he was due to fly out.

For a short period he was allowed to call on a Monday to her cell phone. She would abuse him in the background and would get on the phone yelling at him.

She would take it out on his wee girl. No matter what he did it was never right in her eyes.

Then she would leave her cell phone off. No more contact. She was 3. She will be 15 soon.

She was a daddy’s girl and no day goes by when he doesn’t think of her. We have sent pile and piles of presents and toys.

Spent a truck load of money and she would throw it out. Never missed a payment of child support.

No matter how much we have struggled with the payments we have gone without to pay it. We have 2 children. One 5 and the other 2.

They don’t even know their sister. She has never been allowed to be part of our family.

Because he has a angry ex who works part time his payments have shot through the roof. No days in care have just sent payments sky rocketing. 17k living allowance and 9 k for both of our kids.

I know child support is not linked to access but if they are going to do days in care and there is active parent alienation then the paying parent should be allowed access.

We would love nothing more than to have his daughter as part of our lives.

Parent alienation should mean no child support.


Custodial parent working less hours so paying parent has to accommodate this is just wrong!

How much did you pay on the old formula?

$407.60 per month

On the NEW formula what will that amount be per month?

Waiting for another new assessment but will be just over 700

Are you happy with the new formula?


What are your main reasons for not being happy with it?

Parent alienation. Paying parent having to pay more as custodial parent earns less.

Not all custodial income included such as working for families and the amount custodial parent receives in child support payments.

In our situation by the time angry ex gets child support and working for families etc she doing very well for herself.

9k for both our children when that 9k doesnt even come close to paying for our daughters childcare!

How can one person pay 700-1000 per month while another pays only 20? No fair syatem.

If child support was a set amount per child split between both parents for the basic necessities, what do you think is a fair amount per month per child?


What else would you like to say?

I am worried about the debt we could end up in as a result of this.

And I am worried about how it could affect some with access to their children and suicide rates. I believe these will rise

Ange – thank you so much for sharing your story with us.

We want to hear your story!

If you would be happy to share your story with our community – we would love to hear it. Please fill out our Case Study submission.

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  1. I agree. If the paying parent is not allowed access to their children because ex is stopping it and the paying parent can provide evidence of this then ex gets paid nothing or paid as per court agreement. Ex should not receive full payment as they are not providing emotional needs for child – yes in some cases this would not apply.
    But why should paying parent be penalised if they have done all they can to have access to their child. if they have been to court and had access approved the child support should be adjusted accordingly.

  2. I am in the same situation it has put me in debt,caused extreme stress for me and my new partner. I dont have access and my two other childeren dont even know their older sister its the worst thing for a parent to go through and is a very common situation

  3. Ange, its a simple human right to see your children, you can also make it a court order, which means you can insist on seeing your children, the new dispute resolution service now offered should mean a quicker resolution for care of children matters.

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