I Have Seen her 2 days in 2 months it’s Heart Breaking – Case 111

child support

This is case study number 111

This is Jonathan’s Story:

Jonathan – Tell us about what is going on with your situation?

I have 1 daughter who lives with her mother, I have a new partner and she has a child that lives with us, his father lives in Vietnam so we receive nothing from him.

Under the old system we paid $850/month in child support.

Now as the system fails to recognise a blended family there is no allocation in the living allowance for them.

Our monthly payment is now $1344!! That is more than the dole it’s as much as our mortgage, it is absolutely crippling us we don’t know what to do.

We have applied to the IRD for a review however that is a lengthy process.

That is not the worst part of our situation, we used to see my daughter all the time 2-3 nights a week.

Now after receiving the latest IRD letter, I can only assume her mother received it to.

I have seen her 2 days in 2 months it’s heart breaking.

We have tried talking to my daughters mother, she refuses to even contemplate a private arrangement, in fact it seems to us she sees it as a passive income and that is the driving factor behind the lack of contact (I can hear her in the background when talking to my daughter on the phone).

We are currently about to go through the mediation process for 50/50 shared care… but by all accounts of what I have read even if I get it endorsed by the family court it’s not worth the paper it’s printed on.

I also feel there is a possible human rights violation, my partners son who is so in every way but on a piece of paper my son and has been for 3 years is apparently able to be supported on $6000/year that is the increase in the living allowance if I can ever get him recognised.

Yet my daughters mother receives $16128/year to raise my daughter and she lives in a massive house with a man who is worth an awful lot of money.

I have worked very hard to get to where we are in life, yes I have a previous relationship that failed. Do I deserve to be punished for it?

I love my daughter to bits, I see her less than ever and pay a huge sum of money that cripples us.

I totally fail to see how this system is fair at all, I can’t be the only one.

I’m sure there are people on the other end of this that think it is fantastic but fair has to be fair right?


How much did you pay on the old formula?


On the NEW formula what will that amount be per month?


Are you happy with the new formula?


What are your main reasons for being not happy with it?

I fail to see how this is fair? The new system is flawed in so many ways I don’t even know where to start. No one child costs $336/month it’s just crazy.

If child support was a set amount per child split between both parents for the basic necessities, what do you think is a fair amount per month per child?


What else would you like to say?

If the IRD is going to weight the system on days of care so heavily then the government also needs to empower the courts to allow easy shared care when one party is to selfish to grant it.

Fair needs to be fair across the board, all IRD departments and the courts.

Jonathan – Thanks for sharing with us.

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  1. This is just mean and spiteful and completely unjust.
    Can you give me any information on what are you doing to try to have your partners son recognised? I have the same situation but it is my daughter and she is “missed out” in the entire system.

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