It Won’t Be Worth My Husband Getting Out Of Bed To Go To Work – Case 40

Case 40

This is case study number 40.

This is Ngaire’s Story:

Ngaire – Tell us about your family?

My husband and I have three children. We have my 15 year old daughter that lives with us her father lives in NZ (we live in Aus).

My husband has a 20 year old son that he has had custody of since he was 12 until an adult, and he also has a 14 year old son that lives in NZ with his maternal grandparents.

My husband never collected child support for the oldest boy as it was agreed that one child each would cancel that out however the mother went on the benefit in 2009 so we have had to pay $200 per week up until now.

I know everyone thinks we’re all earning mining wages in Aussie but that’s not the case were we live there is no work so my husband travels an hour and a half each way five days a week so leaves home at 4.30am and gets home most nights and 7pm or that can be 9pm if there’s been an accident on the roads he’s a truck driver.

So by the time he pays petrol and child support he is working for $500 a week out rent is $400 so this means I have to work that’s fine I always have however I am also sick and having surgery again that will leave me off work for two months again.

We have one car that my husband uses that was mine before we married my mother drops myself to work.

We also save all year to buy the flights for the youngest to visit if we didn’t pay so much I’d rather fly him here every holidays as he’s a lovey boy and we miss him I love both my step sons and not many people can say that so I have never begrudged paying the support however it has left us unable to provide for my daughter as her father pays a 4th of what my husband pays in child support to us.

We had one Christmas three years ago when my husband was working casual and CSA took every cent of his wages and I wasn’t working to look after the kids and we borrowed money to eat and then got an eviction notice as we were a month behind in the rent it took us months to catch up.

This new assessment pretty much means it won’t be worth my husband getting out of bed to go to work.

Plus our car is now getting old and we can’t afford repayments of a newer one and it does 200km a day to get him to work so we need a decent one the best bit is the husbands ex is driving around in a late model BMW and we still had the 14 year tell us he needs clothes but mum can’t afford them with the amount we pay now.

I on the other hand am working myself into the ground to prop my husbands income up while I’m very sick.

I have always made sure my daughters child support is used purely for her now she’s old she gets it put into her account to pay for school things and whatever else she needs.

It has caused endless fights due to the stress we have many times decided that it’s not working and maybe we split until the kids are grown we are told also it doesn’t matter who had custody of the boy she is still entitled to the money before Christmas we had all 3 kids with us her were still paying.

My husband has said as he’s a very strong person he’s felt almost sucidal dealing with CSA and ird and put in for stress leave as we were stressed out so much about being able to pay child support with me being off soon with my operation as he will be my main carer.

I have friends in Aussie and NZ that have never seen a cent in child support from ex partners so I think it’s family like us that are being penalised for these people.


How much did you pay on the old formula?

We pay $900 I get $350

On the NEW formula what will that amount be per month?

We will pay $1008 I get $300

Are you happy with the new formula?


What are your main reasons for being not happy with it?

We are in financial debt because of borrowing all the time to get by we need another car to get be to work but can’t afford one I have had to borrow money off my family for medications.

My husband is working himself into an early grave he already had a major accident in the NZ Army so he still has ongoing injuries but neither of us can afford to stop working.

If child support was a set amount per child split between both parents for the basic necessities, what do you think is a fair amount per month per child?


What else would you like to say?

We would be happy to pay $100 per week towards the child as long as it’s going on his needs and for it to go to the grandparents that the child is actually living with.

Ngaire – thank you so much for sharing your story with us.

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