The Non Custodial Parent Has No Rights At All – Case 41


This is case study number 41

This is Andrea’s Story:

Andrea – Tell us about your family?

We were a young couple who fell in love quickly and lived happily making plans for our future.

My now husband had a secret, which as most secrets do came to light eventually.

As an 18 year old he had a silly casual relationship with a woman whom told him she was protected. He foolishly took her word for it.

They called it off, she turned up pregnant claiming he was the father. When he said he wasn’t ready, she disappeared and made herself uncontactable.

A while later, she showed up with a baby and a birth certificate, coerced him into signing it, told him she would never claim child support, again, fell off of the face of the earth…many years later…hello giant arrears.

We have been through the works to find out if in fact the child is actually his.

But the non custodial parent has absolutely NO rights when it comes to contacting or even gathering information about the child at all.

We spent thousands on lawyers, got our local MP involved, and even contacted Peter Dunne. To no avail.


How much did you pay on the old formula?


On the NEW formula what will that amount be per month?


Are you happy with the new formula?


What are your main reasons for being not happy with it?

We are paying for a child that we have no rights to even contact or find any information out about and have been doing so for over a decade.

We have two small children of our own together that we spend less on per month and they are in our care 100% of the time.

Why is the parent of an 11 year old not working?

If child support was a set amount per child split between both parents for the basic necessities, what do you think is a fair amount per month per child?


What else would you like to say?

The system is grossly unfair. The non custodial parent has no rights at all, none.

It discourages those who work bloody hard from striving to earn more or do better.

It discourages those on a benefit to strive to get off of it and get a job.

It is unfair that we as a family unit pay more money for a child we have no rights to, more than what we spend on the children in our own care.

The new formula accounts for those who have shared care. But what about those who are paying for a child that they have no idea where the child even is? Or if in fact the child is not biologically theirs in the first place.

We feel grateful that our liability has decreased, this is only due to IRD overestimating our income due to a redundancy, that they would not change because it didn’t fit their 15% threshold.

We are disappointed that when we estimate our liability, because we have no idea of her circumstances, so can only assume that the custodial parent is receiving zero income and is on a benefit.

Hey presto, the estimation matches the liability we have been issued.

Bearing in mind, the child is now 11, that’s a long time to pay for a child you have no idea where they are. We also wonder why the custodial parent is still on a benefit when the child is 11.

Andrea – thank you so much for sharing your story with us.

We want to hear your story!

If you would be happy to share your story with our community – we would love to hear it. Please fill out our Case Study submission.

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  1. Why does she keep saying ‘we’, especially when it comes to rights ect. It’s nothing to do with her and she would never have any rights, it’s only her partner that would. And hey he’s no innocent here, if he didn’t want a kid then he should of wrapped his junk. Can’t just blame the other woman for that. Also how do you know she doesn’t have valid reasons for still being on a benefit? She could have health issues or many other debilitating circumstances you know nothing of. You sound pathetic and your husband should be fighting his own battles. At the end of the day he was the one that said he wasn’t ready so what other choice did she have. Grow up and see things from the other side Andrea.

  2. My father was advised by his lawyer to become self employed then run his business at a loss for as many years as possible so that he could avoid child support payments. Prior to that he lived outside NZ for a few years and didnt pay then either for his 3 children. Him and new wife (she left her 2 kids with her ex husband) had two incomes and a nice lifestyle, mortgage free quite quickly whilst my mother struggled. I had to beg my father one year to buy a winter jacket as I had outgrown my other one. I was 12.

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