Treat People As Individuals With Differing Circumstances – Case 59

mt taranaki

This is case study number 59

This is Mary’s Story:

Mary – Tell us about what is going on with your situation?

I am posting on behalf of my partner, who is a paying parent. his wife had left him several months prior to us meeting.

His wife left him with all the debt, mortgage payments, to go and be on the DPB. he has struggled to pay all their combined debt. But wants to keep his good name so continues to do so.

He has no objection to paying for his daughter (we have her every 2nd weekend) he has offered 50/50 shared custody but no that was firmly declined as that means she would move to dole therefore lose “income”

The frustration is in two parts, he went through the hoops and jumps for the review process last yr and got a departure from paying child support for 2014/2015 , still had to pay $97 per week.

The mediator agreed with amount of debt from their combined relationship, said child would not benefit. IRD ” never” received the judgement.

However we have since learnt this doesn’t mean paying nothing, just the living expenses is higher.

This yr it’s gone up to $111. + backdate. He now has the family home on the market, and has offered to IRD he can live out of his van instead.

Individual financial and current circumstances should come into effect, if one partner leaves the other with all the debt. Or alternatively if new relationships are formed and supporting other partners children. (it takes a whole village to raise a child)

Fortunately I don’t have any children, but agree the system is very flawed, and weighted unevenly.

I feel for all of those parents and children disadvantaged through this so called ‘fairer’ system (Tui Ad)!


How much did you pay on the old formula?


On the NEW formula what will that amount be per month?

$444 + backdated

Are you happy with the new formula?


What are your main reasons for being not happy with it?

Apart from using her daughter as a main source of income, the fact she can sit on a benefit without struggling (planning on a cruise next yr) and no responsibility for previous debts Is unfair.

She can have a quality of life while my partner is expected to have no quality of life and work like a Trojan instead.

If child support was a set amount per child split between both parents for the basic necessities, what do you think is a fair amount per month per child?

What’s fair ?

What else would you like to say?

Not everyone’s circumstances fit into a black or white scenario, there are extenuating circumstances that should/could be factored in. I do wonder with this much pressure on ppl, how many will just opt out (suicide) break relationships etc.

The govt needs to stop treating everyone as the same and treat ppl as individuals with differing circumstances. Not all parents are dead beats and some are living lives beyond their control.

Mary – thank you so much for sharing your story with us.

We want to hear your story!

If you would be happy to share your story with our community – we would love to hear it. Please fill out our Case Study submission.

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1 Comment

  1. Hi
    this is similar to my husband’s life story but here his paying for 2 kids ages 10 and 13 now. He was left to pay debts and all. We have our son now 9 months and we struggling at times. His ex has been studying n studying now doing doctoral but never up til now worked. We have mortgage to pay, bills his old debts which his ex hd used his American express and not for getting lawyers fees.its been 10 years since they separated n divorced but his still paying for all andchild support just keeps building up.why should he have to pay all? Why cant she work and pay half expenses for children. Doesnt even feed kids well, doesnt take them to movies or on holiday or even out to relatives places

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