I Wish I Had Someone That Would Understand my Situation – Case 137

simon case 137

This is case study number 137

This is Simon’s Story:

Simon – Tell us about what is going on with your situation?

I have two kids daughter 13 boy is 16.

As ex sufferers from postnatal depression I tried to help her out an get help which ended up turned against me.

As my kids were too young to understand my reasons, at this time for leaving, I stayed 8 yrs putting up with antisocial behavior, emotional stress, and abuse mentally and emotionally until I left.

Everything was spit up 50/50 even my work super.

I’ve paid a set amount (private agreement ) word of mouth good will..

I paid half of kids needs over an above.

Now I’ve had IRD put upon me by ex.

And it is as stressful and tiring as my last 8 years of marriage.

I left kids with ex as her mental state having someone there an keeping her mind busy helped her lose her thoughts of self harm as she had spoken of suicide to me.

It seems in IRD’s eyes I am just a number, a dollar value – and yet everyone has a reason.

My daughter is now being treated the same as I was punished, emotionally stressed an affectionately ignored (if talked to at all).

I’m now paying near double I was under old system. I am going to try for administrative review as I brought a 2brm house to live in and have kids, if ex allows, or have boy stay as hes been kicked out twice.

The new IRD system works on money and penalties.

Not for the best interest of kids, or Dads Who are trying to deal with a bigger picture.

Yet I have three ird envelopes turn up at once wanting money or similar.

I feel harassed, bullied, stressed I may have to sell my house to pay back pay on penalties I just got dropped on me by new system.

Trying to get IRD help so my kids have a safety net, a place they know they can come and be loved. And a dad can have his kids.

I have administrative review under way its slow going an penalties are growing.

If no joy I’m going family courts take on my kids full time if I can, give my job of 15 years away ,I’ll always be there for my kids.

I pick them up after school take them home.. take my daughter to soccer training 2 to 3 hours twice a week.

And there for them at drop of a hat.

Ird bills and penalties grows by month my wage doesn’t by 10% a month nor over 3yrs.

I’m near living on $100 a week just to pay gas, groceries a mortgage of 370 a week thanks to post quake Christchurch and 20% bank deposits for a house.

IRD require Near $300 a week including a min penalty payment.

I’ve been sent bills from ex $1000 for buying a bed over an above school fees clothes etc…my ird payments been put into a account to add to her house deposit even though she probably has nearly $150k.


..not only did I get 3 envelopes from IRD Friday, I got another Saturday threatening that they will be taking the money out of my bank account…

Shows there is no collective communication within IRD.

I been talking to several people on the call center each telling me what to do but yet the harassment letters keep coming.

What is going on??? Confused to say the least

How much did you pay on the old formula?


On the NEW formula what will that amount be per month?


Are you happy with the new formula?


What are your main reasons for being not happy with it?

Not happy.

There’s time limits to talk to someone to get help.

They never have understanding of peoples situations..

Lack communication, mail is more like “bill” bullying.

And amounts unrealistic.

Things aren’t worked out together so there is understanding not stress an not having some sort of direction for getting help.

In my situation it isn’t easy..ex mental health against me as well as IRD.

I brought a house on 20% deposit to have the kids, and sold holidays to pay IRD which goes on my income.. which comes around to bite me …damn if do damned if I don’t.

If child support was a set amount per child split between both parents for the basic necessities, what do you think is a fair amount per month per child?


What else would you like to say?

I wish I had someone that would understand my situation.

And help me get help some direction towards understanding the systems, and where and who can help me in my hard and stressful situation…

I’d appreciate it more than you know thanks.

Simon – Thanks for sharing with us.

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