Ask Questions

This is where we will try to answer your questions!

We have posted a number of articles that may help you for a start.

Article about the general changes.
Living allowance changes
Why is one child worth more than the other.

You may however, have a different question you are seeking an answer to.

Ask your questions here in the comments.

If we can answer them we will.

If we cannot answer them, we will enlist the help of our Facebook community (a wealth of experienced child support payers and receivers, and non receivers..)

We look forward to hearing from you, and helping you if we can.


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  1. Hi. I have searched the internet for answers and have had no luck. Next step is lawyer.
    Does anyone know about Estates paying child maintenance? My sons Father passed away and I’m wondering if his estate is liable to pay child maintenance to help me with the costs of raising him.
    Any advice welcomed!

  2. Hi there,

    I am the mother of my child whom I share custody with his father (week about). (50/50). I am receiving an amount monthly from him, I believe this is so “the standard of living does not change” when the child come from his father who is the higher income earner. Can you please tell me if he is obligated to pay half of my child’s school fees, stationary etc?

    1. Hi Lisa, as far as I am aware there is no obligation no. He may want to help though? One option could be to not go through IRD and draw up a private agreement where the expenses are shared? Just a thought as IRD don’t make things very clear cut unfortunately. Cheers Rob

  3. I am a father who has 50/50 care of my two children, as I have a full time job and my ex partner is on the sole parent benefit I am liable for child support.

    What I want to know is why does IRD class me as a “Non Caring Parent”, how is my 50/50 custody split “Non Caring”?

    I find this term that IRD use as incredibly insulting! Why is my ex partner who doesn’t work care regarded as caring and mine is not?

    1. I think the term is “non custodial parent”, but regardless yes it is an insult.

      I also have shared care (but not quite 50/50) and get annoyed everytime I go to pay CS and have to select Non Custodial Parent. Even worse for you when you have equal custody.

      Unfortunately not an easy question for me to answer, but maybe something you could ask of IRD?

      Let me know how it goes. Thanks for dropping by.

  4. Hi there,the mother of my son has told IRD I have been earning alot more then I actually am. What do I do and where do I start to ensure we reach an agreement that benefits the both of us and our son, whom she has refused me contact for no good reason other then she is “moving on with her life”. All I want is a fair and reasonable agreement through IRD as I don’t see anyway of coming to an agreement between ourselves.

    1. Hi there. I think as long as you have proof of your income, and she doesn’t have proof that it is far more you should be OK. If you are worried about this you might want to engage legal help as I am just a parent and haven’t been in that situation myself. As far as an agreement that benefits the two of you and your son, unless you are both on board with that idea then that will be very difficult within the system that we have in place today. If you need some legal advice and don’t want to pay through the nose for a lawyer you could seek help from and their expertise with the IRD policies and legal requirements would be very helpful in terms of aiding you through an agreement and any issues that crop up. Thanks for getting in touch and good luck.

  5. Hi- great forum, thanks for all of your efforts!
    I’m liable to pay my kids mum even though I have shared custody. She is now in a new relationship and moved in with the him. I doubt she had advised ird as with other info she didn’t disclose in the past. Would my contribution change now as it changed on my end when I started a new relationship? And do I raise this with ird if applicable?

    Thanks heaps!

    1. Hey there. Thanks and glad you like the forum. It doesn’t matter if she moved in with the richest man in NZ you would still need to pay the same amount, as partners incomes are not part of the equation (also he could have kids of his own that he is supporting etc so he would be responsible for them and you and your ex for yours).

      Your relationship should also have no effect on the equation unless you have kids together (however a few years ago it did have an effect on the living allowance). The child support for kids in the current system is just set on the incomes of the two biological parents.

      Hope that helps, cheers Rob

  6. Hi, Just wondering how the petition is coming along – I don’t see anywhere on your website how many people have signed up to support it and how long it might take to get where it might mean something?

    1. Hey Steve I checked with Andrew (who created the petition) and at this point, we are looking at around 100 signatures. To be honest it is amazing how many people complain about the child support system, vs actually signing up for change but anyway I guess we would need at least 1000 to put forward to parliament. Cheers Rob

  7. Hi, my child support is deducted from my wage and I prefer to have an automatic payment myself. It is difficult to get both ex,s to agree so can I apply to the courts to set a figure. My employer says they are legally bound to deduct for ird. I’m in my 31 st year of paying Cs with another 11 left then I’m told the arrears ird have given me, some because of my employer paying my deduction late will be paid off in 2036.
    I’m 55 now so I’ll be 71 by then. After a botch vasectomy ( lol) I here you all saying I have medical expenses for injections and blue pills:(.
    Will a judge set a price?
    I’m paying $1200 p/month , my weekly gross is $1300 so it’s a quarter of my monthly income. God it saddens me just writing this.
    The point is they don’t receive anywhere near what I’m paying!
    Can anyone help?
    Thank you for listening
    Roy Allan

    1. Hi there it is hard to give you advice without all the information. There are avenues like admin reviews that you can take a look at if you have special circumstances and it sounds like you might have some. Unless they are on a benefit they should receive all that you pay (minus any penalties). If they are on a benefit then the money will largely go to the Govt. Don’t lose hope and hang in there.

      1. Thank you Rob, both are working. One has my two boys so I would expect she should receive $800 but she says one month she gets $400 another $700.
        Something is not right.
        Hence, can I go to court for a order to be made?
        I don’t see any of the boys much either, one not at all in Hamilton and two older boys are party age.
        How could ird just up the age to 19 like that.they are adults at 18!
        Ty once again for listening

  8. I’m just wondering if I’m paying child support and the child now has left school and is doing a course how do u know the child isn’t receiving some type of benefit as he is also working part time. . When or if he’s receiving a benifit is it automatically stopped by ird or does the ex partner has to inform them he is studying and being paid a benefit?????? I uderstand that if he’s not reciecong any type of benefit for study that my payments continue

  9. We share care of our three boys. ( week about). I pay $70 a week in child support. Do I have to pay half school fees, uniforms, sports fees etc on top of this?

  10. Hi

    Is there a way to enforce a Private agreement? Im being offered a great one but it seems like theres no way to actually make it stick if the payer changes their mind.


    1. I am pretty sure you can have a private agreement but get IRD to collect it for you. And if it doesn’t work out you can always change to going through the system. Good on you for looking at other options I hope it goes well for you 🙂

      1. Hi im just wondering is paying child support essential ? As i dont want my ex’s money at all since they wont be in my childs life and im financially good ? But yes i will be putting name on the birth certificate..

  11. Hi I am now working longer hrs lately which is just temporary so can’t come off benefit. As I am only getting $30 benefit plus accomodation supplement and child tax credit. My ex pays $100 a week so will I get $70 a week.

  12. Hi all
    Need some advice please. I am asking on behalf of a family member.
    Mary ( just turned 17) and John (18) have been together for over a year. Baby arrived 3 1/2 months ago. They are all living at Johns mums house and paying $200.00 board per week. John works and from what i can understand he was given maternity assistant from IRD which was transferred to Marys account as she was only 16 could not get a benefit.. A month ago they broke up. After 2-3 weeks they are back together. All seems well then John gets a letter fro IRD demanding child support. They are now back together and John is confused why he is being asked to pay child support. Also, would Mary be entitled to any Family tax credits. She has kept everything on the down low and has been very secretive and John is struggling to get his head around this all. Any feedback would be appreciated.

    1. Hi this is from advice I received through our closed FB groups which Mary and John are welcome to join “It sounds like Mary applied for CS when they split. He will have to pay what they assessed him as owing.
      She may still be claiming SPS and if she is – the CS bill won’t go away unless she stops claiming.
      WFF entitlements depends on his earnings and the maximum she could receive would be $92.50 FTC and $72 IWTC but that depends entirely on John’s income and hours.”

  13. Hi there just needing help understanding this abit but I’m on the Sole Parent Benefit right now and family tax comes with my benefit pay. I got cut off for about 3 months due to leaving the country. When I came back I reapplied with work and income and IRD on child support. A few days ago, I thought I’ll check my online ird. The father to my daughter had been paying child support that 3 months I got taken off. Just wondering where that went to? I’ve rang ird twice asking where it went? One guy said I have credit but it’s not showing up because they never changed benefits from 2014 when I had my daughter. The second time I rang the lady I spoke to said I don’t get nothing and that 3months I got taken off that money got sent to the crown? I don’t know what that means, tried asking her but she hung up. Any help will do . T.I.A 🙂

    1. If you are on a sole parent benefit the crown does attempt to recoup the money correct. Not sure sorry how it works when you were out of the country, maybe there was a shortfall and they kept grabbing it, or maybe you are entititled to it as were not on the benefit at that time. I don’t know the answer to that sorry but they should give you a clear answer. I think it would be worth asking them via secure mail inside your online IRD that way they have to clearly explain it in writing so won’t be so easy to brush you off. Good luck and if you remember, please let us know how you got on.

  14. My child’s father claims he runs his business at a loss, how much child support is he likely to have to pay? I have our daughter full time.

  15. Hi there My daughter turns 18 in January my understanding is that her child support will stop. Her father is in Australia and owes child support of over $80000 will I ever get this??

  16. My friends ex wife is living in their family home and he is paying half the mortgage, rates and insurance as well as child support (arranged outside of Winz). My question is, if he is to go thru winz and make the childcare payments official, does he still pay half the mortgage etc, or is this included in the child support?

    1. This is a tricky one but I am sure he could do an admin review and get some of that recognized against his payments. It can be good to stay outside with a private agreement though so good to try to negotiate something that is fair if possible.

  17. My husband whom had custody of My son, died in September 2016. I stopped paying child support not long after his death informing WINZ of his death as My husbands then girlfriend was taking the payments after she Kicked My 14yr old son out..He has been staying with his stepsister who is 20, on the Benefit (used to be the DPB) and her twin 2 yr old girls…..I live in Wgtn and My Son on the Kapatai coast and because of the support he has over there being teachers,his stepsister and friends, i didnt want him remove him into my care so i gave her,My stepdaughter,permission to apply for shared guardianship expecting the child support to continue which to this date it hasnt….Could you please tell me what to do before i get in to trouble with the arrears…..

  18. Hi there, thought I’d get some advice here since I’ve been racking my brain trying to work it out on my own. Nov 2008 I had my first son to my ex,and we seperated late 2009, we made a shared care agreement with IRD regarding child support. And he went into his dads care. In Aug 2010 I had my second boy although we weren’t 100% he had the same dad, and my ex was unwilling to find out as he had moved on with a new partner. In June 2011 our arrangement for my eldest ended as they moved over to Aus. It wasn’t until July 2013 he decided to get the paternity test done. He got the results that he is his dad 3 weeks later, (I’m still yet to see the letter) and hes made little/no effort to get to know him. 2015 he had a daughter with his current partner and early this year he was deported back to NZ. They’ve moved back and settled in. I have my eldest every fortnight and every holiday & my ex keeps promising to make an effort with our younger son and that he’ll have him the weekend I don’t have my big one, but he NEVER does. When he picks up and drops off our older boy he promises the lil one outings, ph calls, gifts, TIME. He does absolutely none of it. At all. Now he’s claiming child support for our eldest as of October which I don’t mind paying, but he’s bitter and rude and abusive and until I see the DNA test results that I keep asking for, I refuse to put his name on the birth cert. And feel that my son should be entitled to the full 7 years of child support or from the date of the test at least.. Also my ex has put on his CS application that I have no other dependant children. Is this to avoid him paying for his son. ??! Arghh it’s a nightmare! I also have a gorgeous daughter who’s 2mths old now 😀 thank goodness she has a different dad!

    1. That sounds like a sticky situation alright. I am not sure what advice I can give on this one as don’t know enough about birth certificates and DNA tests and so on. Maybe some others will see this question and be able to help some more than I can.

  19. Hi,
    I am 20 years old and I have no father recorded on my birth certificate. I have had contact with my dad throughout my life and have created a great bond with him in the last couple of years. We have talked about getting a DNA test done to put him on my birth certificate but he’s worried about the child support he hasn’t paid.
    Would he be made to pay child support for 20 years if we get him on my birth certificate or will they dismiss it?

  20. Hi me and my partner have been living together for 4years with our children we are on legal benefits everything is legit we have just realised that he has been paying child support of $12pw from his benefit is this correct? We are confused have spoken to ird they seem to think this is correct?

  21. Hi,
    My child’s Father has never paid child support and has been out of the country their whole life. He is now returning to NZ, what will happen when he returns? Can he be arrested at the airport for it? Will he be able to leave the country again with such a debt?

    1. Fantastic that your child will get a chance to reconnect with his father. Although the IRD does have powers around arresting people at the airport I do not believe they are generally used. Maybe a chance to help forge a relationship between your child and his dad and also work out some kind of child support agreement going forwards?

    2. If the 2 countries have an agreement like Australia. The yes they can hold you at the airport preventing you from leaving over child support

  22. Hi there. I’m 40 years old. My biological father is still alive . We have never met but I’ve spoken to him 5x through my life on the phone. I’ve asked him if there’s any chance that he’s not my father, he says he is. He’s never paid any child support. I’ve had trouble with one of my childrens father not paying child support and now I’m wondering what, if any obligations my father has to me. He is very wealthy. I’m older now and so is he.

    1. I doubt there would be any obligations at this point, it is something that would have needed to have been addressed at the time. Very sad that you never got to meet him and form a relationship with him.

  23. I’m wandering! My ex husband owes me a lot in arrears from previous years for our 3 children in child support. Can I get this wiped and just have him pay the monthly amount?

    1. Child support is paid to the government by the father, not directly to the family so I don’t see how. The mother receives child support from the government, not the father.

  24. Hi, I have a 10 month old son whom I’ve had full care of since his birth and the father has not been on the birth certificate. We have recently been to court and done a DNA test for him to be put on the birth certificate. I have been on the sole parent benefit since my sons birth and WINZ have got me to put in a child support form which I’ve done. My question is, is does the father have to pay for the last 10 months my son has been here as we’ve never seen anything from him? Thanks

    1. Hi, normally Child Support is only applicable from the date it has been applied for. I doubt you will see much of it anyway, as the Government keeps all, or some of it (depending on how much is being paid) to help recoup the benefit costs.

      1. not entirely correct you will get paid the difference providing that your child support entitlement is greater than the amount of benefit received in the month. ie work and income pays you $100 in the month and your child support entitlement is $200 in the month , $100 of the $300 would go back to the government and then $200 would get paid to you directly. normally work and incomes base benefit sits at about $1300 per month and you would be doing well if your child supper entitlement is higher than that.

  25. What if I need to go on the sole parent benefit but I refuse to have child support for 3 of my children due to their fathers abusive and unacceptable behaviour. He has never paid towards them even when we were together and I was working.
    Will I be forced to make him pay? Will the sole parent benefit be heavily reduced?

  26. My wife and I have separated with two girls 5yrs and 2yrs old,
    I pay child support of $865 a month and have had the oldest child with me most weekends, I need to know what dose the money I give her cover as she is telling me to pay Half of her school fees? What dose child support cover?

    1. Hi you can’t be made to pay any more than the child support amount. If you want to help out with extras you can of course. Unfortunately there are no clear guidelines about what CS should be spent on. It is up to the receiving parent to spend it how they wish to.

  27. My husband paid child support for his Son from a previous relationship, his son is now living with us.
    He has a large arrears with IRD basically from a 6 month period about 5 years ago when we were not aware that Child Support was being claimed and IRD did not contact him.
    Do you know with the arrears who receives the money? Also we have been told if we pay off monthly some of the debt can then be erased?

  28. I have majority care of 2 children. I was on a sole parent benefit for a month ( and applied for child support ) then started working 20 hours a week for a year. I didn’t know I should have stopped child support payments. If I had known I would have done that. My ex partner didn’t realize he should be paying child support so basically he now has a large debt to pay off. My question is if I was working why are IRD still charging the same amount of child support as when I was on the sole parent benefit? Is there anyway we can have that amount of debt reviewed?

  29. The father of my children left the country over 7 years ago, at the time, my youngest was 14 and the oldest nearly 17. We did not receive one cent from him the whole time he was overseas. He is now back living in the country… my children are adults, 22 and 25, am i still able to pursue him for unpaid child support for those years we were entitles to receive it?

  30. Hi,
    I had tried applying for the sole parent benefit in the 18th of August couldn’t do the realms account finally got it submitted on the 28th will I be back paid and to what date? I hadn’t applied earlier as I resigned late May but assumed I would have a stand down so have been living off my savings which has run out now after 3 months. Also I have an agreement with ex partner will this be effected as he actually pays more now then if he had to pay child support he’s good like that he doesn’t want IRD involved I’m afraid if ird get involved he will only pay that amount and not what he already does

  31. Hi, I have a private agreement with my ex wife for c/s, we have been using the IRD calculator for the past 3 years to work out my financial responsibilities. She declares that she is not employed and lists her income at approx $15,000 per year. I have asked her to provide details of where this money is coming from but she is not willing to do so.
    I know that the sole parent benefit and the accom supplement are classed as income as they attack Income Tax, however I pay her more than $15,000 in c/s each year. I feel like we are at a stalemate. I have been told by the IRD that c/s via a private agreement is classed as income. I not sure what to do from here, I don’t what to involve the IRD, but feel there isn’t a lot of other options open to me. Do you have any idea’s for other options I could maybe pursue?

    1. Its a tough one, if you go through IRD unless she is earning big money and hiding it from you (but not from IRD), and you have a decent percentage of care, you are likely to be stuck in the same boat. If she is on the sole parent benefit there is generally no option except going via IRD. Sorry I cannot be of more help.

  32. Hi,
    My ex-husband pays child support and believes this covers everything including all extra curricular activities, medical, schooling etc. Is there a legal note of what child support covers ? I certainly can’t afford to cover 100% of all extra expenses that pop up each month?

    1. Hi there, this is one of our biggest gripes with the current system. It’s not clear what is covered and what is not. As far as all the extra expenses though he doesn’t have to contribute to them unless he wants to. For something like braces though you would be able to do an admin review and seek some extra assistance.

  33. Can work & income force you to apply for child support . Currently on Living supported payment caring for my nana. Haven’t told Winz that I’ve had a baby who’s 3 weeks old . Will make an appointment once I’ve done his birth certificate.

    1. If you go on the sole parent benefit you need to name the father to get the full amount. Then they will make sure that the father pays Child Support in order to recoup the benefit. That is how I understand it anyway but you might want to double check with WINZ and IRD just to make sure you have everything covered off.

      1. Cheers thank you , does that only apply to the sole parent benefit ? Having to name the father in order for them to get him to pay child support or all benefits ?

  34. Hi, I have two children and my husband and I have split. They are both to him and I am now recieving the sole parent bennifit.
    He is a fisherman and is saying that we will go 50/50 even though he cant have them 50% of the time.
    He has offered me $200.00 private arrangement and I dont know what to do? Should I be going through IRD or are the kids and I better off taking the private arrangement?
    He doesnt want them knowing how much he earns.
    Im really worried that we cant cover our bilks and need to know what the next step is please

    1. Hi, if you are on the sole parent benefit I doubt he will have any choice but to go through IRD. It really depends on his income as to how much you would receive vs the 200 private arrangement. Private agreements can be great, but unfortunately the benefit gets in the way of that.

    2. From my experience. I have a daughter,5, and am on the sole parent benefit. I have had her 100% of the time up until recently where my ex is having her one night a week on school days and every second weekend for 2 nights. IRD has come up with the pathetic child support sum that he is to pay of $75 per month. Yes, $18 a week. IRD also state that if the father has the child 35% of the time and you have the child 65% of the time then you may have to pay child support to him. I know, it sounds completely unfair and it is. You can earn up to $100 without it affecting your benefit and then Winz take 30cents of every dollar. You could perhaps declare the $200 as income and then, even though you might loose a bit you’re not hiding it from Winz. Then if your partner tries to blackmail you down the track about the $200 he’s been giving you he won’t actually be able to. You’d also have to pay tax to IRD on that $200. Other alternative is just to take the private arrangement but you are taking a risk. Lots have people have done it though. The best piece of advice I can give is go see your local Budgeting Service – they are completely descreet, they know all about what you are entitled to and they help mums in your situation every day. They’re great!
      Good luck from one solo mum to another! X

  35. Just wondering if you know what the effect on the child support I pay for my 16 year old daughter who is pregnant? I believe there is a young person benefit she will receive and she will continue to leave with her mother who doesn’t what any change in what I pay. But do I have to pay anything or will there be a decrease in the amount? Thanks for your time.

    1. Hi Sherry I put this question out to our FB group as didn’t have a ready answer. The answer I got was

      “Once the child receives a benefit from WINZ child support is no longer required to be paid- also if they work more than 30 hours per week or move out of home.”

      I hope this helps and please check directly with IRD if you are unsure.

  36. Hi,
    I’m new at the child support system.
    My ex has the children 2 nights a week. We have a private CS arrangement based on the IRD calculator.
    He is self employed (a barrister) with variable income by year.
    Is the amount calculated for CS on his gross company profit, net profit or another figure? Which figure do I use for a self employed man (who takes a very long time to file a tax return?) Thanks 🙂

    1. Hey Nicola, I believe they would go off his last submitted tax returns for his taxable income, often it goes a year or two back for those that are self employed. Maybe just ask him what his taxable income is? Good luck with this I am very happy to hear that you are looking at a private arrangement. 🙂

  37. Hello. Recently my grandfather passed away, part of his will was a trust and terms were the boys kids must be dna tested. I have not had anything to do with the kid or mother since birth, and the dna results say im not the father, the kid is now 10 do you know if money I have paid through the years will be refunded

  38. Hi,

    I have my daughter 3 nights a week but pay child support to my ex as if she has her full time. She has said that if i inform the IRD of this (has been this way for nearly 2 years) that she will deny it and stop me having her by taking me to court.

    Past experience in Family Court makes me not want to risk it as she will do just about anything to get her way. I have tried to update our original court order to reflect the current arrangement but that didn’t get past mediation as we couldn’t come to an agreement. I stopped pursuing it any further after she told me that if it ended up in court she would say i hit our daughter.

    What options do i have or is it something i have to accept?

  39. Hi, I am just venting as I am very upset. Father of my girls has just gone through IRD to claim CS out of the blue. Always been 50/50 in everything, no lawyers, no agencies, nothing, for 10 years. One daughter decided to go live with him 100% a few months ago – she’s 17 and we had a falling out (nothing major!) but due to non-communication and me not being able to allowed to call/visit etc etc (historic situation – the dad wanted us all to go away quietly so he could get on with new partner, so we did!) I have to accept her decision (it’s also pointless trying to change a 17-year old’s mind….). Other daughter still 50/50. Father has large 500m2 house with 3 mill CV, 2 successful businesses, is semi-retired, partner never worked, just done huge extension to their house, they have 2 luxury vehicles (owned by their businesses) and go on hols 2 x a year. He’s an ok dad – not knocking him! Just can’t communicate and never has. I am salaried and earn $90K and having seen the CS assessment, appears he’s paying himself no more than about $50K b/c I apparently now owe nearly $1000/month. I have NO problem providing for kids!! I’ve been paying him an amount every month and paying school fees plus clothes and tutoring for kids. I live in rented accomm, an apartment 50sqm and have a big mortgage on a tiny house I’ve just built (65 sqm). Can’t compare my situ to theirs yet somehow he’s managed to hide all the income. I’m so upset. I am single, live so frugally, grow own food etc etc and already have anxiety and depression. I have not been able to work since getting this assessment and I’ve just spent 2 whole days putting together an admin review application which contains so much personal and financial info that he and his partner are now going to see and laugh at, probably. It’s just so unfair that one parent can say they are earning so little when they are clearly so well-off. I think personally that if one person applies for admin review, the process should STOP and mediation should kick in so that a new arrangement can be made which doesn’t rely on stupid, unrealistic formulas….there doesn’t seem to be anyone in IRD who will listen to individual circumstances! I was told “Oh but his businesses might not be doing very well…” !! WHAT? How do they afford to run a Jaguar, an Audi and put a gym into their new “Barn”?! I could sell my car to pay more than I have been and stop my KiwiSaver payments for a while etc – communication would go a LONG way and I’m willing to work through it but now I’m just the villain in a process that was suddenly imposed on me with no warning. Sorry – I’m just so mad that at my age I’m now “in the system.” All this does is create ill-feeling and toxicity and undermine relationships. It’s unbelievable! Love my kids so much and if they both were with me 100% I’d be absolutely thrilled and wouldn’t even APPROACH their dad for CS ! I just can’t believe it this can happen in NZ. I will lose my little house now or just have to go into debt. Not sure what I’m going to do. I send hugs to those others who are suffering!

  40. Hi there, just wondering which is the best way of going about this problem.
    Well I’ve had my daughter for the last 3 years,an shes been attending this school that i have enrolled her too, my question is “what is the best way to get my child support back dated from the time I’ve had her until now

  41. Hi There

    I have had a private arrangement with my child’s father for a number of years. He had another child with someone else and we agreed to a small decrease in what he was paying me so that he could cope with a new baby, but that was three years ago and he’s recently purchased a house and new boat etc. It has been nearly 7 years since our agreement and the amount has stayed the same/decreased slightly. Cost of living has gone up for everybody, but he’s enjoying a new job, company car/fuel etc. I have approached him a couple of times re increasing the amount but he’s not prepared to do so – stating he can’t afford it. I can’t work out what he would be required to pay if I went through IRD, unless I know his taxable income (which I don’t). Is there anything I can do to find out this information? And does IRD take into account benefits such as company cars?

    1. Hi there, that is a hard one to answer without knowing how much he pays, and how much care that he has etc. If you show him the numbers about how much the child costs and then what % of that it would be fair to him to pay vs going through the IRD, maybe he will be open to that? Or you could try to get him to pay something towards some of the big one off expenses as the child gets older? Good on you for going privately, as most people are not able to reach agreement like that. I hope that the two of you can have a conversation about it, without having to resort to going through the IRD.

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