Ask Questions

This is where we will try to answer your questions!

We have posted a number of articles that may help you for a start.

Article about the general changes.
Living allowance changes
Why is one child worth more than the other.

You may however, have a different question you are seeking an answer to.

Ask your questions here in the comments.

If we can answer them we will.

If we cannot answer them, we will enlist the help of our Facebook community (a wealth of experienced child support payers and receivers, and non receivers..)

We look forward to hearing from you, and helping you if we can.



  1. Well have just had my admin review,and was asked by the review fella why my case had to go to this level seeing how much my wages for this year had dropped.The drop is actualy below the thresshold required.So hope fully all goes well cause it is getting pretty hard financially now.My question is really this,i have been told that this new child support formula is based on the Aussie version.And to impliment it has cost the NZ govt something in the region of $230,000000 due to the need to update all the computer programs to accomadate it.Was just wondering if anyone else has heard obout this.

  2. Hi All, I am self employed and estimating my income, I have always used my yearly income before tax to calculate Child support, but it doesn’t seem to calculate. I have looked around the IRD site and no-where says Gross or net pay, it says taxable income. in the old days the Child support income used to be calculated after PAYE deductions, but I have estimated it on my gross income.

  3. I am writing this on behalf of a family member – can you tell us what to do when their child support payment has gone up so much they don’t have enough money to live on now. They have just received the outcome of an admin review which has decreased their payment by 50c a week! Really!! that is just ridiculous!! They have an 18mth old and another due in a few weeks and are really struggling. Where do we go for help now?

    1. That is not good to hear. Well you can apply to the family court, also the ombudsman, and if at all possible they could try to get more time with the kids they are paying for. The more time they can get the, less % they would pay if that helps.

      Here is some more info below from the IRD website, hope this helps and good luck to them. Please also let them know we have a pretty supportive page on Facebook, if they want to come and join us.

      If we don’t accept your application
      If we decline your application because you don’t meet the requirements, or your circumstances
      are too complex for the review officer to make a decision, you can apply to the Family Court for a
      departure order.
      To find out how to do this, read our guide Helping you to understand child support and the Family
      Court (IR 174).

  4. Good afternoon
    Am asking on behalf of my sister for advice
    She is not computer savvy nor does she know how to use one
    Can someone who has experience with this matter help!!!!!
    My sister has a baby and a long story with regards to the father so will keep it short
    He is refusing to take any responsibility for his daughter what so ever he knows she is his as my sister was as loyal as they come….
    What can be done as he refuses to sign the birth cert and my sister knows hes the dad without a doubt and their daughter is a splitting image of him
    Sadly she thought she was going to be a happy family
    She trusted him but he did what hes (since shes ended with him) done what hes known for had a child and done the runner and then refuses to sign birth cert
    Can someone please give me advice thanks
    As my sis is struggling to get by

    1. I am pretty sure she can just name him as the father (if applying for child support) and the onus is on him to prove that he’s not. I see you posted it on FB too, so lets see what the others have to say. Thanks!

  5. Hi there, has anyone ever taken on IRD for a judicial review? Any help appreciated, as I am fed up with trying to get a reasonable from them!

    Cheers, V

  6. Hi
    My ex-husband has finally started paying child support to IRD. I am currently on a sole-parent benefit and working part-time. Do you know the child support payment calculation in any way includes an allowance/portion to include daycare or preschool costs. My ex-husband seems to think that it does and so will not make any further contribution to these expenses. I currently receive a child care subsidy from WINZ for my youngest (18mnths) and my 3.5yr old qualifies for 20hrs ECE. However even with both of these in place it does not cover the full amount I am currently paying in childcare costs. I pay an additional $155/week to cover the shortfall. I realise that there are cheaper childcare facilities around but they are further away from home and my two daughters are very settled and happy where they are so I don’t want to have to move them. I am happy to split the cost with him. Once both kids are school age then I intend to get off the benefit and work full time. thanks

    1. The child support formula takes a percentage out of the paying parents wage, based on how often each parent has the kids, and the incomes of the two parents.

      IRD don’t specify exactly what it is or isn’t for, it is just a financial contribution.

      There is no extra he would have to pay for daycare or anything like that, however he could of course choose to help if he wanted. Maybe you can utilize his parenting skills as a free babysitter. (however I realize that is not always a realistic option, especially as you probably are working at the same times etc).

      Hang in there and good luck to you.


  7. Hi there. Can you please tell what happens when the custodial parent moves with the child to Australia without your knowledge? What is involved with paying child support and can they take the child to Australia without the non custodial parents permission?

    1. Hey there, it might be tricky if there was no agreement stating they couldn’t be taken out of the country. Here is some information, and you would probably want to talk to the family court to discuss what options you may have.

      As far as paying child support from what I understand it will just continue. Thanks for getting in touch. h

  8. Hi i would like to know how the IRD would handle the receiving parent agreeing to and informing them that they want the liable parents outstanding debt wiped.

  9. If care is 50:50 but one parent pays a bit (and the other receives an amount) of child support because he/she has a greater income can the less well off parent refuse to pay anything towards big ticket items such as school fees or expensive dance lessons on the grounds that the other partner is “well off” or does the child support system take into account all child costs so that the better off parent can argue ” I’m paying IRD and you are receiving an amount towards bills like these, so a 50:50 split of big ticket costs is fair”. If the parent who is receiving child care support refuses to contribute for specific costs does the other parent have any come-back or do they just have to lump it – or send the child to a cheaper school ? Thanks for any help.

    1. Hey there Charles I understand exactly what you mean, however the way our flawed system is designed noone “has” to pay for anything. Child support isn’t for anything in particular and your only options if schooling was expensive, would be to do an admin review where there is a ground for this type of thing.

      Sorry I know it’s not much help but there really isn’t any other option I can think of except to try to prove via an admin review of how it was unfair.

  10. Hey there, Was just wondering whether you knew what would happen in a situation where the child support payee is married and supported fully by their husband…while the child in care is with their father full time (a previous relationship before she got married). does the child support come from their present husbands income?

    1. Hi there, it only is calculated from the biological parents income. So in a case like this, the paying parent would probably end up paying next to nothing. This can be unfair in some cases, as the child still costs money to raise!

  11. Hi, I guess this is not a question but just my side.

    I was with my husband for 15 years (we only separated12 mnths ago) and we both fort constantly with his x wife to get access and child support to be looked at rightfully we never avoided paying, , my x was a paying parent for 3 children we had a combine income of aprox 110K he paid around $4-500 hundred dollars for the 3 children.

    One year later we separated, my son decided he wanted to stay with his father and I have fort for some access of any sort and are being denied constantly braking my heart.

    I have been assessed on the same wages I was earning while with my x for one child at $750 pm (8 odd k per year), this has just arrived in the IRD website for me today along with my yearly earnings of $8k ???? (I’m not on a benefit and have been struggling with life and living myself). the IRD has my recorded earning but want me to pay child support of more than I earned for the whole of 2015.

    I have struggled to find work are not on a benefit and when I find work I will pay my rightful share.

    My points here are A: a paying parent should get access unless a real bad reason not to…..and B: allow the paying parent to be able to survive as well……thus neither parent should be disadvantaged wither paying or receiving. and finally C: IRD to look at their own records to avoid any stress or un-needed upset to a parent.

    1. Hey Tracy, that definitely sounds like an unfair assessmennt I guess there are a lot of assumptions being made about your income. The best thing would be to get on the phone with them, and try to explain your current wages/situation and with any luck (as it is more than 15% different) they will hopefully reassess it. Fully agree though, a lot of un-needed upset. Good luck with your situation and thanks very much for visiting our site.

  12. Hi all .Just wonder if there I could get some feed back on my situation .Im in the not so common postion of being a dad who(for a large part) have raised my son and even thought I am entitle to child support it has been a real battle.Somehow my ex always seams to get it reduced to the minimum amount and even then IRD seam to struggle getting the money from her.It upsets me when she is driving around in a new car and owns property etc and I struggle .I know she has a new partner and is not declaring all her income and I am at the point where I am getting really frustrated .Any thoughts people?

  13. Hi. I have a close member of my family who has had their child support substantially cut back for her 2 children after her ex filed the latest paper about his income supposedly decreasing. He has, over the past several months, purchased a new car, a near new house and has many assets. What are her rights in this type of case? How is she able to find out the income he is actually on and whether or not he is lying about his income? What should she do next?

    1. Hiya, well IRD know how much everyone earns officially, unless he is hiding something in which case it would probably need to be proven.

      You could try doing an admin review on ground 8 which can be used if the income one party is declaring is not a true reflection of their earning potential.

      I hope this helps and good luck!

  14. Hi, my daughter’s father has paid only a fraction of the calculated child support over the years and owes IRD a lot. She turns 18 this year, what happens to the money owed then? Will I cease to receive any payments?

  15. Hi there
    I receive child support of about $260 a week from my ex husband for our 3 boys. We have roughly 65% (me)/ 35% (him) shared care. My ex husband refuses to pay anything towards school fees, extra-curricular activities and expects me to buy all of the boys school and sports equipment as well as cover all other expenses whatever they may be (medical, even birthday presents and haircuts). This week I discovered my eldest son only has school shoes and jandals at his dad’s and when I asked my ex-husband why he didn’t have a pair of trainers, his response (in front of the children) was that he pays me $600 a week (which isn’t true) and that he expects me to provide gear to share between the houses.
    I’m at my wits end with this and wonder if anyone has any advice about what exactly child support payments are meant to cover in a shared care situation and whether the recipient is indeed meant to swallow the cost of everything. I would like to be able to point to something written about what the intention of the law is in this case.
    Help gratefully received.

    1. Hi Ann, you and many parents on both sides of the equation wonder the same. Here’s the thing, unless they are “special” kinds of expenses e.g braces, a private school that you both agreed on etc, I would say you are out of luck with getting any extra help. It’s not that you are forced to pay them either, it’s just that you are the one stepping up and taking care of it. There was a recent post on our FB page where people tried to offer ideas, like paying half the activity and saying the other parent will be paying the rest – but again there is no law or legislation that you can point to in way of backing it up. Good luck to you, and good on you for making sure your kids have everything that they need.

      1. If this is a recurring question, perhaps the government need to address it and provide some guidelines. From my perspective things like braces and glasses are over and above childsupport and should be shared equally as they are nessecary and shouldnt be worn by 1 parent alone. Things like sports equipment, extracurricular and private schooling needs to be agreed upon prior, as to who pays what before proceeding, if there is no agreement reached then the parent paying needs to weigh up if they can afford to proceed or not. These are nice to haves, not absolutely critical.
        To me child support covers day to costs of housing, clothing, food, basic medical (GP & prescriptions), basic education (not private school) and basic extracurricular (not archery and pilot training and an entry in the Americas cup).
        Im really fortunate that my husband is happy to pay for extras for my eldest daughter when her bio dad cant afford it, and i have a very good relation with the ex as well.

    2. I have a similar situation with my ex. I have decided that if he is “struggling” so much that he cant contribute to these extra expenses then perhaps it is best for him financially to see the children less. This will mean it could increase his child support payments as part of the calculation is based on how much time he has with the kids. Seems petty i know but my ex is not the best role model anyway so in my opinion the children are not actually losing out. Also im on a benefit and he earns $60k plus a yr & has a company car…go figure

  16. Hi Mum. Thanks so much for your reply. My ex’s refusal to pay isn’t about him not having any money. It is fueled over bitterness that he has to pay a cent in child support at all and he has let me know about this for 7 years and often in front of the children, which is disgusting. He earns around $140k a year (or more as that was what he earned 7 years ago when we split) so well above the threshold and owns a second home. Fortunately I am remarried and my husband earns an ok income so I can suck up what my ex doesn’t contribute and I would not ever see my children lack for anything because their dad is so resentful at paying towards their upbringing. If I were on my own and trying to get by, I honestly think I would have to pull my kids out of everything and possibly not pay voluntary school donations, because I couldn’t manage it on my own income. That’s what makes me angry and upset is that the system doesn’t talk about this situation and allows a parent to think child support payments in a shared care situation (which are not that much really in terms of the cost of raising the child) are intended to cover all expenses. Surely payment calculations when assessing my contribution (I am assessed too because I’m earning) should recognise that one party is paying all the outgoings on behalf of the children.
    I have always tried to separate childcare arrangements in terms of access. My boys love their dad and as they get older I recognise how important it is to have that time together. I just wish he wouldn’t embarrass me in front of them by suggesting I am being tight at not providing for all their clothes/ shoes etc at his house!

  17. Kia Ora,

    Firstly I feel blessed to have discovered this website and applaud you on the support and professional structure.
    I separated from my ex wife in March 2011. We have one son together who is nearly ten. I have worked as a professional for a long time on a fixed roster of two days two nights and four off. When we separated I insisted on a shared care arrangement to which my ex wife signed. I have always viewed me being in my sons life as essential. The arrangement consists of my son arriving on my first day off and returning to his mothers on my last day off. This equates to 37% care. I have since got another partner and have another two boys and now have the capacity to have my son a fourth night to which has been refused with no valid reason.
    When we separated we agreed to keep IRD out of it and I would pay all costs, schooling, clothing etc. She left me for a new partner. I also offered to help with cash if ever she required it and I could afford to. Bearing in mind I had to cover the cost of the house mortgage and related cost to which was abandoned. I am a reasonable forgiving man and father, so attempting to tread amicably despite raw emotion was a challenge however all for maintaining my boys balanced demeanor in that crisis. I always had threats of IRD if we disagreed over the years, my contribution as a father never acknowledged and often criticized un fairly. Finally this year in November I received my assessment letter much to our surprise, fear, and anger. No discussion and we have had a rare ability to communicate reasonably in comparison to many others. First payment due Christmas Eve of $590 dollars. Hard times ahead!
    Enter IRD- What an agency.!! Disturbing and action needs to occur. Ministers need to be challenged and public made aware of the destruction caused.
    Let me be clear, If a parent elects to leave there child and no longer be in that child’s life. Chase them and make them accountable and hold them responsible for their child. For parents who act in the best interest in their child should supported and not punished.
    My son arrives this week, dirty clothing, a hand me down school bag , shoes falling apart. I pay a significant amount per month and essentially have him 6 nights a fortnight and her 8 nights. One hundred dollars for an extra night. My income has been around 82,000 with overtime, Sole earner and three kids alot of the time!
    My question is why is there no system introduced to ensure over sight to the receiving parent, I would like to be able to see receipts for what I am paying towards only in relation to clothing etc?
    I know for a fact I am now paying off a significant debt she incurred. My boy is not benefiting by my contribution and this is very evident. I will acknowledge my ex wife loves her son.
    I accept my contributions as there is too much energy wasted becoming bitter and it will affect my health. I will not allow this agency to do this to me.
    However I would most certainly offer my full support to this cause.
    Be strong people, with reasoned conversations we can make a change, albeit slowly.


  18. My ex partner has got engaged in 2015 and will re marry this year. Her new partner has moved in with all his 3 kids with my ex and our daughter (aged 14 now) . I have full shared care however being 14 and closer to the shops with Mum shes now staying there 100% of the time instead of 50/50 at the moment and I can do nothing about this even with a parenting order (was in court yesterday). That household owns 4 houses between them and a huge amount of savings, good jobs, no mortgages etc so Im keen to stop paying anything because I don’t see my daughter and I refuse to fund their affluent lifestyle (2 new cars etc yet shes STILL saying I need to pay pay pay.) Can I apply for a change of circumstances as he has moved in full time or only when they actually get married?

    1. Hey Mike, the financial obligation for your daughter falls only on you and your ex-wife as her biological parents. Her new partner is only responsible for his kids. This is regardless of whether they are married or not it will make no difference at all. If she has 100% of the care then it will fall mainly to you. It’s really sad that you no longer have 50/50 care of her, that would have much fairer. Hopefully as your daughter is now getting older she will make up her own mind to come and spend more time at yours? Good luck and stay in touch.

  19. heres what i dont get, im paying $74 PER WEEK which is alot of money for us (family of 5 me, my partener, her son and our 2 babies together). i dont get paid much and shes not on a bennifit so its a massive deal. however out of the $74, $20 of that is back pay on a arrears but when i called IRD i was told im am currently paying the minamin and it cannot be lowered. but to be honest it would not bother me as much if the foster mother (now adoptive mother) would return my messages so i know how my boy is doing or to see him.

    anyway thats my rant let me know what you think.


    1. Absolutely you should be part of the child’s life. I don’t know the best way to address this, but perhaps the family court could help? Good luck to you and I hope you manage to get to a better result out of your situation.

  20. hi there, I’m a single father. my ex-partner has full custody of my child. I only get to see 3hrs yesterday and then I get him again 3hrs on Tuesday next week and then I get him from Friday until Monday. I pay child support every week, and I also pay half of the school fees of $25.50 a week when he was in pre-school, and I also pay for food when hes at mine and also buy food for my child when hes with my ex-partners place. is it fair for me to buy things for her other child when hes not even my son???

    Can I get inland revenue to stop making me pay child support

    1. Hey Kimmie, thanks for stopping by. Well not easily but there are a couple of things you can try. One would be to get shared care of at least 2 nights a week, that would likely reduce your payments. Also you could try and do an admin review however that is often fruitless. Being a paying parent myself, and also paying for half of school and activities and extras the only thing that had an effect on my own CS payments was getting more care of the kids. Good luck to you.

  21. Can you please let me know in a 50:50 shared care situation where one parent is also paying the other over $700 per month through IRD (as said other parent avoids alot of their income going through IRD). Does tbat paying parent also have to pay half of medical, sport and school costs too?

    1. Hi, there is nothing in the CS policy that makes one parent pay for anything at all – except for CS of course. So if you want to pay little jimmy’s soccer fees the other parent doesn’t have to pay half, and vice versa regardless of whom is paying CS to who. I hope that helps – you could try for an admin review if you are paying for extras and perhaps get a departure, however it is a tricky one. Good luck to you and I hope you can find a fairer middle ground. Cheers Rob.

      1. Thanks, we were given advice by IRD that we would be paying double if we did this. However at a recent admin review we were told that we would have to do both yet I cant find anywhere that officially says that, is this another case of one persons view vs another?

        1. Absolutely, I think the answers you get will vary on who you talk to, the main problem being a vague and unenforced child support policy. It would be great if it was enforced that the money had to be spent on the kids, and then maybe split any extras on top of that. I understand it is very frustrating, and can be very unfair at times.

          1. Hi there, sorry for hijacking your thread. Does anyone know about this in relation to school costs? They have to be paid so aren’t an option. I can’t find anything in IRD or courts about the sharing of costs. My stepkids are in our care one night more per month so TM only pays 47% of all school related costs. It’s petty and stupid and now she’s got the school on board sending us 53% of the invoices. Is there any policy at all on this? It only amounts to a few dollars so not major like some people here, but there should be policy? Thanks!

          2. Hey there, well there doesn’t appear to be any policy around how any of the costs are to be shared. It does sound a bit ridiculous going down to percentiles like that – agreed. And yes there should be some easy to understand guidelines around this type of thing.

  22. Hi there,

    My fiance asked me to ask a question on his behalf. His ex wife has full custody of their daughter. He pays child support weekly of around $75. This leaves him with $435 in his pocket each week out of which has to come board money for where we live, gas for getting too and from work, car payments and payments towards an account at his work. He is left with less than $20 a week in his pocket.

    His ex partner is now demanding that he pay for their daughters braces worth several thousand dollars. Is he obligated to pay for his daughters braces? It would mean, obviously, having to take out a loan to do so meaning he would then have nothing left in his pocket each week. Meanwhile his ex is living with her new partner who earns a lot more per week than my partner earns in one month. His ex and her partner can afford, and have bought recently, new leather couches worth several thousand, a campervan, and have fully redecorated their house including a deck worth $5000 and the list goes on.

    He did not sign anything when she got full custody, and didn’t even know she was going for full custody until he got a letter in the mail informing him that he had no custody rights what so ever. He didn’t even know she was going to court to get the full custody, had no notice of her intentions at all.

    1. Hey there, well it can certainly be unfair sometimes, it’s sad that he can’t have more custody. He doesn’t have to pay for anything more than child support, unless she does an admin review and they decide that he must pay half or all of it. Hopefully though that would give him a chance to explain how tight things are financially.

  23. How can the following be right:

    We are the adoptive parents of a now 20 year old daughter. She came to us under Permanent Guardianship when she was 10. However had been in state care from the time she was three due to neglect and abuse from her biological family. When she was 15 she asked us to formally adopt her, we agreed , little did we know that the process would take two years,however finally at the age of 17 the adoption orders came through. Just after she turned 18 she left home with a boyfriend, whom unbeknownst to us , was in contact with her birth mother and although he has consistently said he was supporting her , the biological mother put in an application for child support. This was accepted by the IRD, resulting in my husband and I being liable to the tune of fifteen thousand dollars. How can a person who has been deemed an unfit caregiver, has had no input into the child’s up bringing (despite being given every opportunity we believe up-until the child turned 7) be allowed to claim child support with seemingly no safety nets for parents such as ourselves, who over the last 9 years of parenting of this very damaged child, have had to deal with institutionalized abuse firstly from CYFs who had certain requirements to fore-fill under the guardianship act and didn’t and now the IRD.

    We are fortunate that our lawyer who also saw us through the adoption process is not charging us for this as it is now into its 2nd year of contention. We have also been told that even should we win the case the IRD will appeal as they say it will open up a can of worms.

    We are not prepared to let this go. Whilst it is galling to have to pay this women,there is a bigger picture here and no wonder people don,t put their hands up to give homes to children in need when the government the IRD (who are a law unto themselves) punish people like us.

  24. Hi there, does anyone know of any type of child support advocate who could assist my friend with an Admin Review? He has his son full time living with him. The Mum pays child support, however my friend has arrears from when his son was living with his Mum. The Mum also has arrears as keeps reducing her assessable income but does a lot of overtime at her work and is money hungry.
    My friend is wanting to have a review done due to serious illness, he is unable to work. Money is not an issue for him, however when he finally gained custody of his son (through family court), he had to setup a new home suitable for him and his son. Setup costs were rather significant as his boys Mum had left the child in poverty while she had him, he had nits, was dressed in opshop clothing in sizes far too small or too big, yet was getting over $300 per week in child support from my friend.
    All he wants is for his arrears and her arrears to be wiped (these were accrued due to IRD reassessing him at year end – they deducted child support from his income at source, so he always paid on time), it was just the end of year reassessments that has got him into arrears. Because he is unwell he does not want the stress of having to deal with the administrative review paperwork to ensure a decent outcome.

    Any suggestions on who could assist him with his mission?

    Thank you.


    My brother has just found out after 19 years that he is now the father of a Daughter he knew nothing about. He has meet the young lady, in fact it was him who tracked the mother down after being told by a mutual friend that there could be a child to the women he had a brief relationship with 19 years ago.
    The young lady in question looks nothing like him, so the family have strongly suggested a DNA test be done, to eliminate any concerns.
    However, the mother of the child is now insisting that he pays 18 years of child support, even though he had no idea what so ever of this child’s existence. At what point does the alleged Father have to pay child support should it be deemed he is in fact the child’s Father. Can the IRD go back the full 18 years and seek back payments? Or does it only come into affect when the Mother applies for child support and names the Father on the birth certificate?
    The young lady has turned 18 at the start of the year and is no longer at school, Nore does she hold a job, but still lives in the family home with the Mother, under her care.
    Any help would be very much appreciated as we have had no luck on the IRD website.

    1. Hi there. I am a bit confused as to how the system works. My son has a daughter. His ex partner has got 3 kids, 3 different fathers. She is now married to the 3rd childs father. I presume he has to continue paying child support for his child but how is it assessed? The payments have increased and he earns less than his previous tax year. He has done all his workings, incoming and outgoing and ends are not meeting. No doubt, the mother is claiming on 2 of the children, on a benefit of some sort and receiving financial support from her husband. It’s clear she will never work a day in her life. Is the IRD responsible for this or is it the mother screwing him for what he doesn’t have? What can I do to help him, as he is in Australia and at his wits end?

      1. Hi there, unfortunately there is probably not a lot that can be done, unless he has a portion of the care of his daughter. The way child support works is that it only goes off the biological parents incomes. Whether or not she is married again is irrelevant. If she is on a benefit and not earning much, then the full weight of the child support cost will fall to him. There are perhaps things he can try to claim via an admin review, like high cost of contact. So that could be something he could try.

        Here are the grounds that can be applied for under a review.

        I hope that helps and good luck to you and your son.

  26. I have 50% custody care of my two children. I have been paying child support (that represents 97.39% of combined child support) for six years and my ex-wife has refused to work. In January 2016 she started her own business and it now runs very successfully. She still also receives payment under DPB. Following an Administrative Review in September of this year, IR advised it was too premature to make a change in my payments. This seems highly irregular to me. Am I alone in this circumstance, is there another route of appeal? I would be very grateful to hear from you.

  27. How’s this for a kicker. My wife’s ex has had nothing to two with my two step daughters for roughly 10 years. Prior to that, contact was rare, and child support payments even more rare. He’d change jobs, hide money earned etc and basically didn’t pay a cent. The girls are grown now, but there is still a NZD15K child support arrears that still needs to be paid. IRD are impotent when it comes to getting this money from him. A simple tax code against his name (like paying back student loans) would do the trick, but no. Remember, he didn’t have any time with the kids, and was only paying a pittance.
    Then there’s me. I have my two girls 50/50 now (since 2009 – was 40/60 before that) and have always paid my child support and never missed a payment. With the new calculation, I can’t even claim child support from my ex (who’s had another child, works sporadically), and my wife’s income is taken into account in the calculation. I pay $740 a month for 50/50 care. The only shared cost is schooling. I have told my ex that my child support is my contribution to the school costs (she refused to acknowledge that, and schools just want to get paid – but I’m sticking to my guns for now). I’ve spent the whole 2016 with that view, because I can’t afford to pay child support as well as school costs. I pay for everything else in my time. I also pay for health insurance, but don’t ask her to contribute.
    To echo everyone else here – the system is totally biased against the one out there earning a living. Many times I’ve considered just quitting to make a point to the ex, but who is that going to help? Not me, and certainly not the kids.
    I’m an honourable person and will do what I am obliged to do because the ex refuses to have a private agreement (I’ve offered to pay school bills (total) if the requirement for Child Support is dropped), but she refuses.
    I’m handcuffed to a flawed system and put under financial strain because the system wants to suck me dry.

    So to the question (more like an idea). If my wife’s income is taken into account in my child support calculations, I don’t think it seems unreasonable that the arrears owed to her by her ex for my step children I have supported financially over that last 10 years should somehow offset the child support payments I have to pay. Surely IRD can’t think them having it both ways is fair.

  28. Hi, we are a low income family on a single wage with our own twins, my partner earns slightly over thershold for WFF so we get nothing and pays so much a week child support. We are making our own business and going to be paying child support through this – do we pay the same? I wish his ex was reasonable because we literally cant survive on the amount he pays and we still pay for his daughters stuff when shes with us and love her and buy her just as much as our kids. How can they make her so expensive – i could raise 5 kids of the amount we pay weekly!

  29. Hi, so what happens where we both work and have very pressured jobs, my ex has remarried and we share the kids week on week off.
    I took on a larger house to accommodate having a full-time aupair which we both agreed would help with fetching and carrying the kids to and from school and sports because of our workload. It has now has gotten to the point that I am still paying her child support based on salary difference yet my living expenses are much hirer having this arrangement and getting my ex to see that she now needs to contribute towards the increased living expense has become a problem.

    She benefits by having the additional help and pays the aupair salary during her week but the fact of the matter is i still carry the full cost of having a larger rental house, food, water, electricity for having the aupair live with full time which puts an unnecessary financial burden on me.

    Do these costs get recognised under the new system?
    Does the system take into account she has remarried?
    I don’t really know how to approach the situation and have tried sitting her down with her new husband to explain the cost of living has gone up over 4 yrs and i can no longer carry all the costs of having an aupar live with me full time.

    1. There is nothing you can do if your going through IRD. (That I can think of)

      There are many of us in unfair situations and we are keen to drive change. Please come and join our closed Facebook groups for more ideas and support if you want to.

  30. Hi
    IRD say they take into consideration how much time each parent has the child. If so how it is my ex only has our son 1 day per fortnight yet pays less then $250 a month. Im in a well paying job and so is my ex but going by all the assessments im making more then him which is definitely not true. They have all my details correct why dont they seem to have his??

  31. Hi,
    I’m really lost in what to do. I have 2 kids Mr 17 and Miss 16 which I thought lived with my ex. I’ve always paid my child support and have no problem with it. My issue is with my ex it’s always been no relationship with her then no relationship with my kids so it’s always been hard to find them. Well my daughter has found me and made contact which is awesome because now we can talk to each other ad see one another. On the downside, Her mother kicked out our son last year no one knows where he is since April and she (my daughter) has since left home in Jan this year. She’s gone from friends house to friends house now living at a family friends house, my question is do I still have to pay Child Support for my daughter considering she’s not with my ex? She advised me she gets nothing from her mother and was considering leaving school to work and support herself but I’ve encouraged her to stay and Ive opened my daughter a bank account and I can put money in it for her to help her get by.. But in regards to my ex, do I have to? I would rather my daughter get it or something but not free money for my ex considering she don’t have our kids. Oh and I did ask my daughter if she would live with me but she won’t because of her schooling and other siblings from another relationship, I don’t live near where their based so she declined. Just want to try help my daughter that’s all. Thanks for your time.

  32. Hi there,
    Sorry for the novel that’s about to be written. My husband and I just found out that we are going to have to pay his ex $800 a month for his twins that they share 50/50 care with. She works 21 hours a week. We also have my son which we share 50/50 care and another one on the way. Is there a way to fight that amount we have to pay? We are struggling as it is and having to find $200 a week would mean forfeiting rent payments or not eating. The stress is slowly creeping up on us and we don’t know what to do.

    1. Hi Karla about all you can do is try for an admin review. It can be very unfair in 50/50 situations (as well as many others). Feel free to join our closed group on Facebook for paying parents – you will find lots of support there.

  33. I have a friend who recently split with his wife after 18 years she the Mum works min 30 hrs week and he the dad works verys as he is a brick layer and weather permitting he has work so on a gd week he gets $600-$800 after tax in hand.
    Mum has 4 kids at hm 18 works p/time 16 works p/time 12 sch 8 sch.
    How much child support would he pay for his kids on a 3 mthly basis with the knowledge that winter cold wet and no work = no income.
    He currently has been paying since time of break up $150 cash per week directly to her. Plus 1/2s in sch fees etc.

    Now she has treating him to say she will take him to the cleaners.

    She almost gets a whole weeks wage every 3 anyway so in average please tell me what ird will chargd Please he has his kids every wed night and every fortnight for weekend as well
    Thanks Ma-Tahi

  34. Hi there,

    I’m a single mum with two boys, I work 40plus hours a week…my ex husband is meant to pay 300 per week for child support and pays nothing, this has meant my family tax credits have also stopped due to my ‘supposed’ earnings for child support. I pay half my earnings in rent, because my pay is over the work and income limit I get no support with childcare subsidies, as I have a small ammount of asset over 8k from marriage separation I can’t get an accomidation supplement. The system is terrible. I was brought up to work hard but really starting to question that I would be better on a benefit!!

  35. Hi.I don’t know my childs father’s legal name and he seems to be playing the hide away/avoided maneuver game.I have been trying to track him down and Iam finding it really difficult to even talk to him.
    How can I track him down when I havnthink got his legal real name so I can put him onto the birth certificate and he can start paying child support.I don’t have funds for a private investigator.
    Where else can I turn too
    Des partly wanting answers.

    1. I was going to say hire a detective, but I guess that is out of the question. I guess all you can do is do the research yourself. Sorry I can’t help more and good luck to you.

  36. Hi just a quick question I’m a single mum two 1&14 year old both same father I’m hoping someone can help.enlighten me..
    What I want to know is how can an unemployed person pay child support to the ird and not be questioned ?? Or will they end up questioned? This is the tax man after all

    1. I am not sure I really understand your question. But you seem to be worried if your ex gets asked questions from IRD? I think they will just send him the bill so wouldn’t worry about it too much.

      1. Hi I’m not worried as he is paying a whole $72 a month
        I was more wondering how one can pay a bill to ird and not have an income with out being questioned

  37. I have a child with a girl who is recieving sole child benefit and childcare subsidy. I lost contact with her 2 years ago and now we have made contact. I’m not registered as a paternal parent yet but we are going to do it. However, do I have to backpay the 2 years of child support. I would rather give it to the hold as a lump sum than it disappearing into the coffers of the government

    1. I asked a few people about this that have been in a similar situation and they all agree that it does not start accruing until it has been filed for. There should be no need to back pay.

  38. Just going through the motions of separation, and figuring out a fair way of determining child support. I’ve used the IRD calculator which has produced a figure akin to what I was anticipating but but am wondering what child support covers – I can’t find a list. Does that include everything i.e. contribution to rent, food etc as the primary caregiver?

    1. Yes that includes everything (there is no official list). Through an admin review you can apply for other things for instance if you had both agreed on private schools, or if there were special needs costs etc. Also the other parent can of course choose to help with other extras yet all they “have” to pay is what the formula specifies. I hope that helps. You might want to join our closed group for receiving parents if you would like to –

  39. Hey needing some help! I want to get shared custody of my 6year old son. – my sons mother- was unfaithful, so we seperated when my son turned 2, he lived with me till he turned 5/ his mother wanted him back. I want to get proper visiting rights, as she always plays games and goes back on her word, cancels plans – and uses my son as a weapon.. I havent paid child support before because she hasnt requested it. (How do i fix this, as i want to get proper visiting rights)

  40. Quick question as I cant seem to find the answer to this question. My friend has 2 children and has been paying child support to the IRD for 1. The other child he wasn’t on the birth certificate for & this has only recently changed to have him added. Will he have to back pay for the years the mother has been claiming from the IRD?

    1. Hiya, normally it is not back dated and only goes from when the other parent started to claim for it. I don’t believe they can claim anything prior without naming the parent. I hope that helps. Cheers

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